Real Yoga

In memory of Erskine Scott Wood.

A blazoning Sun saturates the Patio with the most heavenly light. God is seen center stage with just a towel around his waist. He is wearing Birkenstock sandals and is seen bending over feeling his Portulaca. Peter enters along with Jesus from stage left. Peter trips and stumbles over his right foot. He is heard to say Damn! God looks up from grooming his plant.

JESUS: Father, Father, what good news we have. The earth people are praising my name everywhere. They say I am going to return. Please Father, can I go back.

GOD: Do you mean everywhere?

JESUS: Yes everywhere! I told you, I would sweep that little globe with your message.

GOD: But son, what about your brothers, Krishna and Bhudda and Mohamed. Have you forgotten about them? I warned you if you told those earth people that you were my only begotten son there would be trouble. Why, you have pitted one religion against the other because of that stupid remark. Not only that, you said the only way to me was through you. (laughing) What do you think they did before you came along (more laughing... Peter is seen yawning).

The earth people have always been able to get to me. Of course when they get to the Pearly Gate, they don't realize there are eight other gates they have to go through. No matter. They will learn. Why do you think I call Heaven, 9 Gate House?

Oh yes son! It's no easy road to get to me. And you didn't make it any easier for them. You gave them all these pacifiers to put them into a soporific state of mind. Consequently very few really know how to open the Gates. Gates! Arrrgh! I hate fences and gates... nonetheless... ahhhh! Jesus, I told you, you weren't ready for this task. Thank Myself for Yoga. At least there is one safe way left for those poor people to get to me. No Jesus, in answer to your question, you cannot go back. There will be no Second Returning for you. You have to grow up. You tried to break nearly every law that I made for that little planet. My Law stands!

Now look my boy, and Peter, you can listen too. I am the Sun, and the heat it gives and also the light that shines from it. I am the ether and every heavenly body. I am that small planet Earth, and also everything on it. I am the laws of gravity, of space and time. I am the good man, the bad one too, I am the deeds they do, and also the person who receives the action of those deeds. Why boys, I am everything. I am the doer of all actions, and also the reactions. I am every twig and tree and all species found, whether above or below the earth and seas, which I also am.

I am the joy one feels in love and the anger and revenge one has with hate. It is all my Law. It is what amuses me. You know I created all of this (with a grand sweeping motion of his arms) so that you and your brothers wouldn't be bored... yet... all of you did not understand what I was doing for you. Fortunately I have left a way for those poor blind people. It is not a way of hopes and aspirations, and blind wishes. It is a way of action. It is a way to directly open my 9 gates. Do you really think I want everyone clambering at my door. No! The way I left open for them is difficult, but it is sure. When those poor souls down there realize they have to chuck you out along with your brothers, and free themselves of all the superstition you have put into their minds, then they may at last see the real side of Yoga, and begin to work in earnest, without the excuses of confession and prayer. You deserve a good spanking. Now lift your gown and bend over the patio sofa. (Jesus complies) There is one (Slap) for your Redemption, and another (slap) for your Confessional escape, and another (slap) for that ridiculous Resurrection trick. I told you not to use your powers on them. Now get out of here.

(Peter is seen hugging Jesus and comforting the hefty blows he had received.)

(Peter and Jesus walk out arm in arm stage right. God is last seen, as lights dim, throwing off his towel and taking a smooth entry into the Cobra pose followed by the Lotus Pose.)

GOD: Aum Aum Aum shan–tung shan–tung joy–a–dung shan–tung... (the chanting continues as stage blacks out).

The next chapters punctuate what is needed in order to wake up!

Chapter 1: ConsciousnessGod Pure Consciousness Choiceless Awareness Krishnamurti Srimat Bhagavata Brahmaloka paramanu mansions objective reality Dharana Concentration Abhyasa Dhyana Contemplation Satori zen Sabikalpi Samadhi Nirvikalpa satchitananda being ever existent being ever conscious being ever blissful Patanjali Sahaj dharma discipline

Chapter 2: Magic, Hallucinations, Visions and the Real ThingPatanjali Siddhi Jesus LSD Aliens fakirs chitta vritti nirhoda annihilates all mental fluctuation Fourth State Pure Consciousness Truriya SatChitAnanda Transcendental Astral maya divine power levitation

Chapter 3: KarmaLaw of Synchronicity Atman Higher Self

Chapter 4: The Silence of MounaYantra mantra Ramana Maharshi Patanjali Chitta Vritti Nirhoda Paramatman total and complete annihilation of all mental fluctuations

Chapter 5: Sex and the YogiSheaths Koshas Physical Mental Astral Causal Ideational Atman Pure Consciousness Judeo Christian Gordian Knot Shakespeare Kundalini Shakti Kriya Tantra Tantric Moksha Liberation celibacy Yoni Lingam Zen Buddhists Ida Pingala Sushumna Jordan Ganges land of milk and honey pituitary pineal glands YHVH

Chapter 6: The SoulAkashic records Karma Moksha Liberation Sacrament of Penitence Confession Ramana Maharshi Jesus

Chapter 7: The Holy TrinityTrimurthy Brahma Vishnu Shiva Christ Jesus New Testament Sattvic Jains Ahimsa nonviolence

Chapter 8: ReincarnationBible Jesus Christ Ramana Maharshi Pure Consciousness Satchitananda Samadhi Akashic Records Astral Sri Yukteshwar's Planet of Hirinyaloka Babaji Siddhi Powers Akashic Record Turiya

Chapter 9: The 9 Planes of RealityTuriya consciousness Astral Maya avidya Atman Yantra schizophrenic Akashic Record Samadhi Satchitananda

Chapter 10: The Parting of the Red SeaSwami Gitananda Nadis Pingala Ida Sushumna Canal Kriya Coccyx Kundalini Shakti Star of Bethlehem Ajana Third Eye Pancreatic Nerve The River Jordan The Manger Navel Center Christ Consciousness Patanjali Abhyassa of the Chitti Vritti Total annihilation of all mental fluctuation 144000 Revelations Alpha Gamma Gamma Betta Yantra Yoga 999 666 Sri Yukteswar Dwapara Yuga Kali Yuga chakras satchitananda

Chapter 11: The Philosophy of KlesasBuddhism Shakti Prakritti Purusha Maya Illusion Consciousness Karma Kosa pratyahara choiceless awareness satchitananda chitti vritti annihilation of mental fluctuations Pure Consciousness discipline

Chapter 12: Conclusionsatchitananda Moksha Turiya pure consciousness Pratyahara Hridian center Sahaja chitta vritti

God Speaks: Introduction

God Speaks: A Play In One Act

God Speaks: More Heavenly Theater

God Speaks: God Is Amused

God Speaks: God Speaks About Health and Some Asian Remedies

Articles by Swami Harinanda and Yogi Karmananda are © 2026 and are licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0

Most images do not qualify for use under this license. The 9 Planes of Reality image is, however our own image and thus qualifies.

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